“She doesn’t relate to other people. She was always a lonely child.”

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From my favorite movie, Amelie.

I will not attempt to summarize or review the movie. I will only say that this movie is what I watch when I’m feeling upset, happy, frustrated, heart-broken, sad, tired, lonely, or just plain bored. And now matter how I feel when i start, by the time it’s finishing I feel better, lighter, and more optimistic about life.

I’ve been trying to figure out why this happens. And for me (other than the total awesomeness of the movie) I relate to Amelie, the main character. If you asked anyone who knows me, the title quote could be referring to me, not Amelie. Even though she’s a loner she tries to live a life that makes her happy. A happiness that is not defined by anyone but her. And she does it all by being herself.

And by doing so, she inspires me to define my own happiness. Every time I watch it, I feel like I have pushed a reset button on my little boring life.

letter from a latina daughter

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Absence makes the heart grow fonder…

I’m sure we have all been in a situation where this applied. There is that one person you love.. to not be near. JAJA Seriously though, sometimes you just need space, and need to get a chance to be without a person to be reminded of how much you care for them. Right? I’m experiencing that this very moment.

Not very uncommon, I know. However, what if I told you I felt this way toward my mom! Whoa, did I just blow your mind? Okay, so maybe I’m not the only person in this world who thinks this of their mother, despite how much they actually love her. But it is the first time for me, so I feel like this is a significant moment in my life. I can’t believe that it has taken 25 years for me to make this realization. And I blame it on the country in which I was born. Mexico.

I think by now, it’s common knowledge that Latinos have a very different concept of family than Americans do. You know the drill: invite all 57 of your cousins, you brother-in-law’s abuela’s boyfriend, and your brother’s ex-wife’s parents to the party or else que dira la familia! (What will the family say?) Blah, blah, blah… You’re supposed to be with your family at all times, as painful as it may be for you, all 57 of your cousins, you brother-in-law’s abuela’s boyfriend, or your brother”s ex-wife’s parents.

As a Latina, I’m not supposed to be happy being away from mi mami, but every once in awhile I want to enjoy it. Guilt-free.

Querida Mami,
Today I learned absence makes… me actually want to answer your phone calls the heart grow fonder.
Let’s do it again soon.

bee-tee-dubs: I do not have 57 cousins. I counted, there’s 29.

conspiring with the universe

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“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Or, in the language I first read it

“Cuando quieres algo, todo el Universo conspira para que realices tu deseo.” – Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

I hope that this blog will join the universe in conspiring to help me achieve what I want. And what do I want? Aside from a pint of Haggen Dazs Banana Split ice cream at the moment, I simply want to be happy with myself and my life. Being a 25 year old Mexican living with her single mom and with an extended family unafraid to show their love (read butt in) is not everything i had hoped it would be.

I think of myself as a positive person and am glad that others around me see me that way too. But like everybody else out there, certain things still affect me even when I do my best to keep them out. I want to use this blog to remind myself of the things in my life that are leading me to living the life I want, big and small. Because, even though I know the universe is doing its best conspiring for me, a little extra help couldn’t hurt.

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